“Of course we would! They don’t have delivery options for moons in 2026.”
“So everyone back home is going to die because delivery can’t arrive for another 5,800 years?”
“No! Of course not.” Floyd lowered his head so he was at eye level with her. “If all life on earth is wiped out, you won’t exist anymore, and neither will I. I have just as much riding on this as you do.”
“Number 665, please go to stall 84B for service.” The loudspeaker was just clear enough to hear the numbers. Along the floor, arrows lit up the way to their stall.
“That’s us.” Floyd started trotting off to the end of the corridor. Valerie groaned, and stared up at the ceiling. When the florescent lights had made their best attempt to blind her, she sighed and jogged after him. The light-up arrows were considerate enough to wait for her, even if Floyd wasn’t.
The service stall was used to accommodating large customers. Floyd had one of the screens tilted up for him to see. Valerie dragged a plastic chair from the corner and flopped into it. She closed her eyes and waited for her head to stop throbbing. What did she want to stare at florescent lights for, anyway?
“They’re touchscreens,” Floyd pushed one of the screens down to her level. “But you should be used to those by now.”
“Can we look up dinosaur prices?” Valerie smiled but kept her eyes closed. She tried not to laugh at her own obsession.
“No time.” Floyd’s deadpan response was enough to snap her out of it and make her focus.
Most of the process was multiple choice questions. No, they didn’t need a habitable moon. No, they didn’t need a commercial moon. Yes, they had a specific style in mind. Yes, size was important. Floyd helped fill in the mathematical questions. It felt like the questionnaire took forever. Then came that same voice from the speaker in their stall.
“Based on your preferences, we recommend these three options that are best suited to your needs.”
“What is a ‘Classic’ Moon?” Valerie leaned closer to the screen to make sure she was reading that right.
“Earth’s moon is the original. You move away, but you can’t help taking a little piece of home with you. You end up in a different galaxy, light years away, but you still want to look up at night and have something familiar lighting your way. When they harvest the asteroids to shape the moons, they have the option to shape it exactly the way your moon was a few days ago.” Floyd cleared his throat, as if he thought he was being tactless.
“Anyway, they’ve got tire tracks, footprints of the astronauts, a few missing golf balls…”
“Seriously?” Valerie tapped the classic moon option. The icon’s edge turned red.
“This item is out of stock.” Floyd read the notification. “Sorry, you might have to make do with an entirely foreign satellite.”
“Are they all the same size? The tides won’t be drastically changed?”
“Yes, these are the same size.” Floyd tapped another icon. “Out of stock again?”
Valerie tapped the last option. It, too, was out of stock. They went back through the entire catalog, selected every moon. All of them were out of stock. A notification popped up.
“Would you like some help with your order?” Valerie read. “Yes. Yes, I would.” She tapped the corresponding button. The screens changed to a keypad, and a voice spoke in the stall.
“For help with your dinosaur nutrition plan, press 1.” Valerie leaned forward.
“Don’t even.” Floyd muttered.
“For help in colony planning, press 2.”
Valerie dropped her forehead into one of her hands. This could take a while.
“For help in choosing the best moon for you, press 3.”
Valerie, while curious about the other menu options, prioritized, and pressed 3. There was a 5-second pause.
“Unfortunately, we are having supply issues with our line of available moons.”
“Really?” Floyd snorted.
“All models are out of stock. We apologize for any inconvenience. If you would like to be put on a waiting list, our next next availability is…”
“The suspense is killing me.” Valerie gave Floyd a skeptical look.
“In 7 months’ time.”
“Hang up.” Floyd ended the call. Valerie stood and knocked the plastic chair back. But now there was no room to pace, so she put the chair back in the corner.
“What now? I’m assuming we don’t have that long to wait.”
“Well…” Floyd looked as though he was about to explain the mechanics of the passage of time. But they didn’t have time for that, either. “Good thing you asked that nice man in the alley for his register.” He looked through the list of recent items, and found the company name.
“Quality Moon & Supply Company.”
“Sounds dubious.” Valerie let the way out of the maze of service cubicles. It didn’t take long for Floyd to catch up and they paused outside the door while he found the map.
The streets the Moon Positioning System took them through weren’t too scary. But the dark didn’t fail to make Valerie shiver a little. Floyd let a wing down, and invited her up on his back with a glance. She was grateful for the rest.
“You know, with the money we save buying from this guy, we could get you a watch.”
“Do I need one?” What did anyone need with an actual watch these days?
“Everyone NEEDS one!” Floyd glanced back at her. “A space watch is how I keep all my luggage with me.”
“Luggage?” Valerie wanted to know more, but they had arrived at a modest storefront. Maybe this guy wasn’t as shady as he seemed. She followed Floyd’s lead when they were inside.
There was not a lot actually on display. Just one touchscreen and a glass counter top detailing miniature options available for purchase. And there was a girl. About 7 years old. She pressed a button on the counter. A small green bulb started flashing discreetly on the ceiling.
